A Toolkit to Help you Stay your Course

Sometimes doing the writing the world needs means setting boundaries with yourself: Not just setting boundaries with others.

It’s easy to spread ourselves too thin by spreading our attention and commitments, say ‘yes’ to more than feels doable, or hit ‘refresh’ on news and social sites in the name of being informed (even at the cost of your sanity).

Setting boundaries with yourself is an act of love, and can be a pleasurable practice, and just as important as setting boundaries with others.

Boundaries with ourselves keep us from constantly checking our phones, keep us from getting distracted rather than getting curious when things get hard or when ideas are muddled, and help us cultivate the headspaces we want rather than living in reaction to what’s going on around us.

This isn’t a time to judge yourself harshly or think you’re doing anything “wrong” (you aren’t): It’s just an opportunity to gently pull your daily practices into alignment with what you want and what makes you feel good.

Here are some tools I use to set boundaries with myself:

• unplug from social media, news, etc. And mash those mute and block buttons liberally when you need to. Your online spaces are yours to curate and people intentionally rage baiting and trolling will only distract you and spread your energy thin.

• energetic practices like cord cutting, visualization practices, reiki, gentle movement. Find a few you like, and practice them often. I practice self-reiki most days and let me tell you, a regular practice to focus and align your energetic self (and cut away anything that isn’t serving you) is a massive benefit. If you want examples, you can find these practices in my group program resource libraries.

• check in with yourself twice before saying ‘yes’ to something: A new commitment or collaboration or whatever. Including new time commitments you’re generating for yourself. Ask yourself how this feels for you emotionally and physically (as in, does this feel exciting, do you feel good and expansive in your body thinking abut it?) as well as how it looks logically. Rather than doing a quick surface-level ask then barreling ahead, asking yourself how ‘yes’ versus ‘no’ feels to you twice forces you to slow down and really listen.

• flex those digital boundaries: now is the time to turn off WiFi and set your phone on silent and in another room when you write. Treat it like a little artist’s residency at the start of the day.

• speaking of a little artist’s residency…and I’ve got MANY more thoughts on setting these up that I’ll share in here soon (let me know in the comments if you have questions you want me to cover): lean deep into the things that make creating feel generative and good. Cozy fluffy socks, luxurious socks, a favorite playlist, gentle movement, etc. It’s time for your comfy, cozy, ‘I feel good and powerful’ clothes and decorations and activities.

  This is less a boundary you’re setting and more a redirection towards what you want, as is the next point…

• practice gratitude and make time for gratitude-inducing activities. Actively seek out things you’re grateful for and actively feel your gratitude for them. Actively cultivate gratitude by having experiences that bring you joy as often as you can.
  Refilling your well and redirecting towards what’s working in your life helps to keep you resourced, and ready to continue creating a future with more space for things to be grateful for.

What tools are in your boundaries toolbox? How can I support you in setting boundaries this week?

A new community space for writers

If you want to create the writing life you love, in community with others, in a sustained and sustainable way, please join me in the Mycelia Writers’ Coven, a place for writers of all experience levels to gather together and be in a supportive community in our own private little corner of the internet.

Through monthly live gatherings, a writers’ grimoire filled with spells and practices to support your life and work, a chat space for us to stay connected and find support and nourishment in community, free gifts (like access to other programs like Pleasure Practices for Creatives), and other goodies.

It’s a place to be cozy and creative, and to feel expansive and magical around other writers in a supportive, nonjudgmental environment. The Coven is all virtual (though maybe some day we’ll have live retreats too?!) so you can join us from anywhere.

If this resonates, I hope you’ll join us!