Roots and Branches

We’re all storytellers. In the ways you think, but also in ways you may not realize.

As a creative, you’re already familiar with the ways you shape ideas into being, using whatever medium crafted into whatever form, whether it’s a book, a business, a sculpture, or a song. 

But there’s another layer of storytelling beneath the surface: The stories you tell about who you are as a creative person.

These stories exist outside our conscious awareness most of the time, crafted by patterns we’ve constructed, timeworn social and familial norms, and our own past experiences. The human brain relies heavily on finding meaning and pattern-making to make sense of the world, which means we are natural storytellers. But it also means we weave things into our stories unintentionally as we try to construct the patterns of our lives.

Who do I become through the stories I tell?

I’ve been in conversation with many writers lately, clients and otherwise, about the subconscious narratives we weave about who we are as writers. The way we begin to pull at these threads is by noticing our self-talk around our writing, or even just how we feel around our writing (for other creative pursuits, just replace ‘writing’ with your chosen calling as this functions similarly across creative disciplines).

If writing feels like a slog, if it feels slow, if it feels like I’m pushing a ball uphill, then what does my internal narrative around that look like? Am I at a moment where writing is slower than usual, and able to put that in perspective? Am I internalizing the moment and saying “I’m a slow writer” or “writing is hard or me”? The former is a chance to reflect on process and to reconnect to the larger project. The latter is (or can be) a self-fulfilling prophecy. 

Or if I have anxiety around a project and worry if it’s “good enough,” am I able to remember this project exists outside of me (and life will exist beyond it, which can be a challenge for multi-year endeavors like writing books), or do I internalize the anxiety about the project, letting my worries about my ideas and their execution consume me? The former is an opportunity to get curious and explore my relationship to my work without beating myself up, while the latter is a form of storytelling where worries about the work displace the pleasure of the work.

Something to try this week:
Notice the stories you tell about who you are as a creative. How do you feel when you do creative work? How do you feel when you have ideas? How do you speak to yourself about your work? This can go as deep as you want it to (e.g. “here’s how I feel, now I’m noticing these feelings in response to that,” or “this story originated from XYZ place in my life”) but even just bringing some awareness to your internal narrative about you as a creative is a great start.

Bonus round:
Take what you learned and write it out as an actual story. Don’t judge or censor yourself, just put down the story honestly (and feel whatever feelings come up as you do, this can be an emotional process). 

Once you do those, move on to the below: The real work of reweaving that story. 

The real work: Telling new stories

So you’ve found the story you’re telling. Now that the story is out in the open, how does it feel to listen to it? Does it feel true?

There are almost certainly parts of the story that you either know are not true (case in point, my internal story often tells me my writing isn’t intelligent, but one look at my portfolio disproves that idea). 

There are also parts of your story that you don’t know if they’re true, but you don’t want them to be. Are you a slow writer? Who knows, because there is no objective way to measure that. But if you know you don’t want to be a slow writer, then what do you want to be instead?

Not just “faster at writing” (again, trying to quantify what exactly that means will make your head spin), but what does this desire actually get you? How do you feel when you achieve it? What are the desired feelings, experiences, or outcomes that you want from becoming “a faster writer” (or whatever your desired state is)?

In this example, “I don’t want to be a slow writer” becomes “I want to be a writer who’s always in my flow” or “I want ideas to come to me easily” or “I want to synthesize and share information confidently.” There are outcomes, experiences, and feelings that desire is rooted in, and if we can identify those, your creative life can shift really quickly and powerfully.

Now take the story you wrote in the bonus round, above, and let yourself write a new story. You get to replace the things that don’t belong in your creative life with new stories that do. 

Write the new story, and put it up somewhere you can see it. Read it whenever you need (but especially when you find that tired old story popping up). 

What story are you telling about who you are as a creative? And is it time to tell a different one?

If you found this helpful, and want to go articulate the desires underneath your dream creative life (like I just did above), my self-paced class Deepest Desires does just that (you can also grab it as part of my No More Burnout and Pleasure and Play class bundles).

Or, grab a Creative Ecosystems session with me and we’ll do this work together, so you can leave with some clear plans and a shifted perspective in just 1-2 hours:

We identify patterns, blocks, and spaces for expansion and growth.
We talk through where you are and use strategy, intuition, and creative, expansive thinking to get you where we’re going.
I run energy through the session, and/or offer some energy work after, so you’re getting an undercurrent of healing and care that exists beyond what we can do with our logical, conscious minds.

These sessions are flexible containers made to hold and support you where you are and bring you to where you’re going next. Grab your coaching and energy work session in my calendar: They range from 1 hour to 1 day in length. Pick whichever you need!

And if you’re a paid subscriber, or part of Symbiosis, I’ll give you an asynchronous energy work session for free this month (just email me to say you want it).