I spent years unweaving this one particular puzzle: I love manifestation, and believe there’s power in releasing control over a specific outcome. I believe there’s a universe, and various energies flowing through that universe, that shape and inform our lives and who we can collaborate with to build things beyond our wildest imaginings.
But I was also raised evangelical, where narratives around releasing control to god (or the church) were the norm, and where we received good things only by god’s grace.
So how do I parse the differences between what I believe and what I was raised in?
Over the last 5 or 10 years, I’ve spent a lot of time reflecting on this, particularly when I’d find something about manifestation, or creativity, that put my hackles up. Not because my hesitation was necessarily bad (there’s a lot of toxic stuff in spiritual, coaching, and creative spaces) but because it was a chance to get curious. To see how and where my childhood experiences were still popping up, and to make sure I’m following my own path, not handing over control to either an organization on earth or a guy in the sky.
For years, it felt like a big knot I struggled to untangle, because I knew these two things were fundamentally different, but I couldn’t really articulate how.
In a journaling session for one of my group programs, the answer just dropped in all of a sudden. It felt obvious the moment I said it out loud, but that moment was the result of years of inner reflection before the ‘aha’ could rise to the surface of my consciousness.
The tl;dr is that this is part intention, and partly that those organizations are actually co-opting older systems and selling them back to us in duller, more controlling clothing.
But also knowing this gives us a freedom to bypass the angry middle man and reconnect with that way of being using our own language and wisdom.
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Roots and Branches 